Beg your pardon?

Don’t ya just love those conversations with new acquaintances, essential strangers or even friends and family (does that cover the spectrum or what?) that inevitably lead to adoption, which inevitably leads to someone saying something brilliant like: “Well, adoption is just so wonderful. And Maeve is sooo lucky! If we couldn’t have had our own children, we definitely would have adopted.”


There are so many things wrong with that sentiment, I could dissect it seemingly syllable by syllable — like diagramming sentences in sixth grade English — or highlight and mark all its varied bits of ridiculousness while being full of snark and wit, and my undies in a big ol’ bundle.

But ya know what? The very thought of it Just. Exhausts. Me.



Filed under Adoption, Maeve, Someone else said

6 responses to “Beg your pardon?

  1. I hear ya. Oh boy, do I hear ya.

  2. If diagramming sentences tires, you may want to rethink Riben’s writings.

    Honestly, my reaction wouldn’t have been as sharp if she could put words together in any sort of generally acceptable form … a stumbling block Heather’s review noted, as well.

    Meanwhile, I’m contemplating Jenna’s remark about rear ends in her comment on your last post.

    As for this one, yeah … sigh …

  3. I know what you are talking about. I get that comment sometimes too.

  4. Jessica

    This post just reminded me of somthing i wanted to tell you..when i went on my interview at JFK the lady was going over the benefits and days off and what not and adopting parents get the same amount of time off as birthing parents do. I thought that would make you happy, it made me happy too!

  5. Maria

    I definitely hear you on the comment. I adopted my daughter Maggie 3/06. In the same breath as this comment, I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions as to what to do when people introduce you and “this is so and so and her adopted daughter” …. What is that? I think my eyes where about to pop out of my face with shock.

  6. Diane Conroy


    Is Maggie your only child? I have a friend who’s mom would do the same type introduction until my friend said “Yes, this is Maggie, my adopted daughter and this is Mary, my vaginal birth.” Her mom was MORTIFIED and never did it again. I know how frustrating it can be as we know people who do that or will say “this is my friend who’s kids are adopted” which irks me. I will sometimes say “they WERE adopted, not ARE adopted, just like you WERE born, not ARE born” but that’s something I said to those close to me. Adoption is an event, just as birth, it’s done, past, amen. That’s my .02

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