Calgon, take me away…

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So I shut my eyes for just a quick minute last evening as Thomas put Maeve to bed … and then I woke up this morning.

Arg.

This means there’s a blip in my NaBloPoMo effort. Double-arg.

Clearly this also means I was more tired than I realized, but really? Twelve (blissful) hours went by and I didn’t have a clue.

Funny thing is, this morning Maeve woke up on the Wrong Side of the Crib. So any extra energy I may have gotten from all that delicious, NaBloPoMo-killing sleep?

Well, it’s already gone. In the first 20 minutes of my morning:

• Maeve refused to wear a diaper. Or anything at all. (She lost the diaper battle.)
• She didn’t want her yogurt stirred — a fact I learned just a few seconds too late. (Evidently, stirred yogurt is devastating, dontchyaknow.)
• She pushes stirred yogurt away, then reaches out for it — desperately, like in the movies when someone above the cliff is reaching down, hand trembling, trying to save someone from falling to their death.
• “No stir yogurt, mah-mee! No yogurt, mah-mee!” (So I remove the offending yogurt from the table, saving her from having to look at the atrocity.)
• “Yogurt, mah-mee! Yo-gurt!”  
• When a drop of yogurt fell onto her bare leg, she burst into tears all over again.
• And yogurt on her fingers? (Can you say ‘apoplectic’?)
• No milk, mah-mee! No orange juice, mahmee! (I head back to fridge to put aforementioned drinks away and she bursts into tears: Want miiiiilk, mah-mee!)
• She wanted to tuck the paper towel into her shirt collar like usual, but given that I didn’t push clothing after winning the diaper battle, there’s no shirt to tuck into.
• “Want shirt, mah-meeee!” she wailed, bursting into tears again.
• And then, splat! Another drop of yogurt on her leg.
• In the meantime, I’d burned several (an embarrassing amount, actually) pieces of raisin toast I was making as part of her breakfast.
• When I finally got one right, I placed it in front of The Child and began to cut it in half — like always.
• “No cutting … Mah-mee!!” (Tears all over again.)

Oh, for goddess’ sake. Do they still make Calgon … and does it come in I.V. form?

I’ll take a double.

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Filed under Adoption, Children, Diapers, Maeve, NaBloPoMo, Parenting